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Army of Darkness

    Let me start by saying this is one of the greatest movies ever made. When I saw the first installment of the Evil Dead trilogy, I was rather unimpressed. A bunch of nobodies get raped by tendrils and trees, and then morphed into sarcastic flesh eating zombie-ish creatures; oh yeah, good stuff. Meanwhile Ashley, who’s supposed to be our hero, is all pussied out at the fact his friends and girlfriend are ugly bloody undead creatures that leak lumpy custard-like fluids. The second one I skipped, as our idiot hero and his new girlfriend go back to the house only to (surprise) have his new girlfriend morph.

    Then I watched The Army of Darkness. It would appear, that the pussy I remember from the original, is now warped back in time to the medieval ages. Armed with a shotgun, a friggin’ chainsaw for a hand, his ’87 Delta88 Oldsmobile, and a brand new attitude; pussy excluded.

    This movie kicks ass. That’s all this guy does. He kills some zombie ass in a pit, is taken in by the locals and treats them like shit, gets booty, then kicks more ass, followed by more rude bad ass and sarcastic acts, fights some little demons, kicks his own ass, kicks some talking skeleton ass, some more witty one-liners, then kicks his own ass some more. It don’t matter who’s ass is getting kicked, just as long as Ash is the one doin' the kicking.

    This was so much like watching a horror version of Monty Python, I mean, it’s medieval England after all, and hilarious situations ensue. I half expected to see a bunch of knights hopping around drumming on coconuts. Or a carnivorous rabbit as one of the soldiers of the Army of Darkness, ready to plunge and destroy with it's big sharp teef.

    I must say, it is damn good to see movies where our hero dawns mail and cape, especially when it doesn't involve dwarves elves or little pixie fairies... because Ash don't need no schteenkin Gandolf's, Hobbits, or wuss magic to take down an army of undead sentients.

    All Ash wants to do is get back home, but after getting the sources needed he unleashes an army of deadites and skeletons to ravish the lands. Ash must save the girl, protect the kingdom, take in a battle of epic proportions, fight an evil mirror image of himself, and save the world. I don’t want to say anything else as everything in this movie is bloody hilarious, but there are so many unreal situations you’d never see in movies nowadays. Sam Raimi is a genius of the genre, and he executes this bubbly feast well. Watch this flick.